From Fail to Frills

Warning: This post is super long and has a gratuitous amount of photos of me. Continue at your own risk.

A lot of photos have been deleted, the evidence burned, but the shame still remains. I know there's a few girls who weren't itas to start out, but the amount of us who were is astounding. Here's my tale of a girl finding her place in the frills throughout the years.

2004 - 17 years old
Luckily I don't have pictures from this year. If I'm even luckier, my mother doesn't either. This was my first ever year attempting lolita. For my Senior Seminar at high school I did a paper on gender roles in Japanese pop culture. For the presentation though, we only had to do projects loosely based on our subject and having to do with our art major. I was in creative writing, so I did poems inspired by Visual Kei bands (Yeah, I was an awesome weaboo teenager xD). The day I gave the presentation I dressed in this bastard child of really bad gothic lolita and decora. I was wearing a gothic dress with a square neck, moons on the bodice, and a kerchief skirt. Fishnets. I had plastic fish tied into my hair... it wasn't a pretty sight.

For my graduation I begged my mother for some real lolita. Of course, we were poor and there was no way she was going to buy me those expensive clothes from In the Starlight. I ended up with a black circle skirt with see-through lace panels, a squaredance petticoat, a plain white blouse, and pigtails. When I wore this getup to Otakon the summer after I added a ribbon as a "headdress".

I'm so glad no pictures exist of these.

2006 - 19 years old
After my first failed attempt, I gave up on lolita for a year. But then I had dropped out of college, started working a lot more, started saving up, bought my first BJD, and wanted another huge money sink. (What was I thinking?) So I bought a hugely overpriced Hot Topic dress from the UK. (In the end I think it cost me $300 altogether. I was so naive.)

Yes, this one. (Not my photo)

I barely squeezed my fat ass into it, got a mini tophat, and proceeded to take a million pictures. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure I've deleted all of them. If I come across one I'll be sure to share it.

After I got sick of not being able to fit into the Hot Topic dress, I finally decided to order from the best place ever (in my newbie eyes), In the Starlight. And yes, I have pictures from this outfit. (Lucky you).

I thought I was hot shit.

For Halloween I got another dress from ITS. I was slowly getting better. Very slowly.

2007 - 20 years old
2007 was the biggest year for me as a lolita. I was getting the hang of what dresses looked good, but I still hadn't come to learning what dresses looked good on me. I started venturing away from In the Starlight and poking my head into Fan plus Friend and commissioning private seamstresses. I also got the ever popular hime-cut this year.

Fan plus Friend dress. The collar was HUGE.


This was my favorite dress for forever. It was an AP replica, incredibly full, hand dyed lace, made just for me.
Unfortunately, I had an unhealthy obsession with front corset lacing. As you can see, we didn't exactly get along well.


My hime-cut. Brand new. While wearing a band shirt xD

2007 was also the year I met Caro-chan and our friend Xanet, and our special little trio was born.

I still had the occasional bad-fitting dress, but I was pretty much in my lolita niche.
Xanet also started stealing my clothes since we had similar measurements. xD

And then I got my first brand dress. From Innocent World.

Happiest girl in the fucking world, I tell you.

2008 - 21 years old
Nothing much happened for me in the world of lolita. Just purchases. I got my one and only lolita coat to date. Some more Innocent World jumperskirts. My beloved IW bonnet. And my most favorite jumperskirt in the world. I was also slowly starting my switch from sweet to classic and gothic.

2009 - 22 years old
This year everything started changing. I went back to college, got glasses so I could actually see what I was learning, and quit my job. The need for money also awakened the need for me to realize what really fit well and what didn't. Slowly, the Innocent World jumpers were sold, along with a lot of other clothes that made me look frumpy or oddly shaped. I also grew out my hime-cut and chopped it all off.

2009 was also the year that Xanet, Caro-chan, and I all went out in the woods behind my house and killed eachother. Or something like that.

The best part: My parents didn't even bat an eye when we all got back to my house.

2010 - 23 years old
I don't know what the future holds for my lolita life. I'm broker than ever and have even less opportunities to dress up than I did in 09. I'm hoping that I soon get a job, so I can start buying pretty clothes again. We'll see what happens.

What I do know, though, is that I wouldn't have made it this far if it hadn't been for the best two girls in the entire world. We don't get to see eachother much, but when we do it's always a wild ride. Caro-chan and Xanet are the best girls ever and if they weren't around I wouldn't be here. (Literally, Caro-chan was the one who goaded me into starting this blog xD) So, like most girls, I started off a scratchy-lace covered ita and grew into the lolita I am today. Like I wish for most girls, I did it with the help with two great friends. Because of them, I can look back on my beginner days with a smile.