Coming Down to Earth

There's a very loud chorus from those who aren't lifestyle lolitas that "lolita is just clothes". But you have to admit that the lifestyle lolitas are shouting collectively louder.

I recently went to a meetup where the crew for the Loligirls documentary was filming for their full length production. They asked us what we lolitas usually talked about at meetups and proceeded to throw out examples. "Makeup tips? Favorite brands?" they asked. Us girls looked around at each other, unsure how to express that we had just got done with a rousing bout of crude toilet humor. I get asked by friends, "So, do you sit around at home and drink tea and pretend you're living in Victorian times?" And I always have to explain that while there could be some girls out there like that, once I'm home I'm usually lazing around in PJ pants playing on the internet or doing homework. Whenever you see lolitas being filmed, say on the news, and they're in there rooms, everything is always pink and fluffy. We've been painted with a very broad brush full of rainbows and unicorns and soft fuzzies. And it's because us "normal" girls don't stand out as well as the much more extreme lifestylers.

I just don't understand the rationalization that someone who dresses different = someone who acts different. Dressed like cupcakes, we're still normal girls underneath, and I think even a lot of lolitas need to come to this realization. We're not doing any good in canceling out the thoughts of bypassers that we're strange when most of us come home to a pile of pastel that should be in a nursery. (Barring that you actually have a child and a nursery. xD) Most of us are in our late teens and early twenties. It's time for us to start making a place in life for ourselves through college, jobs, and careers. Yes, lolita is a great escape from the day to day pressures of normal life and an escape is good from time to time. But eventually the clothes have to come off. Most of us aren't tittering school girls blushing behind our parasols. We are young women, ready to take on the world. And it's time that we start dispersing these beliefs that we are just big girls trying to be little girls still. I'm not saying stop doing what you love and try to fit in to a niche the rest of the world has set up. I'm just saying that there are times when you really should take off that tiara.

Plus Size Lolita Buying Guide

Today I'm cheating. I'm just copy and pasting the buying guide that I updated over the weekend for egl_plus. I spent so much time working on it I felt that I deserved to use it twice. You can continue to read it here or go on over to its spot on the LJ community.

Notes:
- Most of these measurements are rough estimates and DO NOT apply for all garments from mentioned brands. Be sure to check that what you are buying is a piece that falls under the right sizing. Also note that the "up to" measurement is usually the MAX measurement and will either be incredibly tight and/or won't look good.

- This is not a brand list. Not every lolita brand, Japanese or otherwise, is going to be on here. I'll only include brands that have a trend of selling larger clothing than Japanese standard sizes.

- I worked hard on this list. Updating it alone took over four hours. If reposting it elsewhere, please give credit where credit is due.

JAPANESE BRAND

Baby the Stars Shine Bright
Has forgiving shirring.
Full-shirring JSKs will go up to about 130cm/52"
Full-shirring blouses will go up to about 140cm/55"
Some skirts up to 96cm/38"
Some cutsews up to 111cm/44"
"L SIZE"
Back-shirred JSKs can go up to 102cm/40" bust and 84cm/33" waist
"LL SIZE"
Back-shirred JSKs can go up to 110cm/43" bust and 96cm/37" waist

Innocent World
Has forgiving shirring.
Fullshirring OPs and JSKs up to about 110cm/43"
Some cuts of JSKs up to 130cm/52" (This cut)
Elastic waistband skirts up to 100cm/39"
OFFERS "L SIZE" (but not as forgiving as Baby or Meta's larger sizes)
Some blouses up to 100cm/39" bust
OFFERS "TALL SIZE"
RUMORS OF OFFERING "LL" and "3L" sizing in the future

Metamorphose Temps de Fille
Some skirts up to 100cm/39"
Some JSKs up to 105cm/41"
OFFERS "TALL SIZE"

Angelic Pretty
Full shirring JSKs up to 100cm/39"
Full-back shirring up to 107cm/42"
Full-shirred blouses up to 136cm/53" bust

h.Naoto
Some skirts up to 110cm/43"
Some tops up to 106cm/41"

MA/MAM
Full shirring up to 105cm/41"
Full elastic waistband skirts up to 100cm/39"
OFFERS "LOVELY SIZE"
JSKs up to 120cm/47"
Blouses up to 120cm/47"
Skirts up to 110cm/43"

Milky Ange
Some dresses up to 120cm/47" in the bust
Some tops up to 110cm/43"
OFFERS "L" and "XL" SIZES
*also sells maid dresses

Putumayo
Some knits up to 110cm/43"
Skirts up to 101cm/40" HIPS
Some JSKs up to 100cm/39"

Bodyline (included because it's Japan-based, though it's not necessarily considered "brand")
Up to 110cm/43"
Offers "L" and "2L" sizing
*Not all items are lolita

CHINESE "BRANDS"

Fan Plus Friend
Sizing up to 112cm/44" bust 91cm/36" waist
Offers "LARGE SIZE"
Custom Sizing $5 USD
*also sells cosplay

Anna House
Offers S, M, L, XL Sizes
XL up to 102cm/40" bust and 86cm/34" waist.
Offers custom sizing for a small charge. (about $10 USD on average)

TAOBAO SHOPS
*when ordering custom size it may be best to add an inch or two to measurements.
(Prices and info are based off of Qcute/Qutieland shopping service, as I can't read Chinese.)

Dear Celine
"Standard Size" 92cm/36" bust 77cm/30" waist
"Oversize" custom sizing for up to 65 HKD (about $6 USD)

Rose Melody
"Standard Size" 88cm/34" bust 70cm/27" waist
"Oversize" custom sizing for up to 75 HKD (about $10 USD)

Momo & Jia Baby Shop
"Standard Size" 88cm/34" bust 70cm/27" waist
"Oversize" custom sizing for up to 70 HKD (about $9 USD)

Infanta
Offers "L" and "XL" sizing
Up to 96cm/37" bust 76cm/30" waist
Does not offer custom sizing

R-Series
Offers "L" sizing
Up to 92cm/36" bust 72cm/28" waist
"Oversize" custom sizing for up to 65 HKD (about $6 USD)

Kids YoYo
JSK "Standard Size" 88cm/34" bust 68cm/26" waist
Blouse "Standard Size" 92cm/36" bust 76cm/30" waist
"Oversize" custom sizing for up to 90 HKD (about $11 USD)

White Moon
"Standard Size" 90cm/35" bust 74cm/29" waist
"Oversize" custom sizing for up to 40 HKD (about $5 USD)

PrinCutess
"Standard size" 90cm/35" bust 72cm/28" waist
"Oversize" custom sizing for up to 55 HDK (about $7 USD)

DollscroPs
"Standard size" 88cm/34" bust 68cm/26" waist
"Oversize" custom sizing for up to 75 HKD (about $10 USD)

Surface Spell
"Standard size" 90cm/35" bust 72cm/28" waist
"Oversize" custom sizing for up to 65 HKD (about $6 USD)

Taobao shopping services
Qcute/Qutieland
Taobao Now
Miwitch" (seems to be Infanta only)
Mashimaro Girl (Potential Scam?)

AMERICAN BRANDS

In the Starlight - http://inthestarlight.com/
*CLOSED*

Excalibur Girls - https://www.excaliburgirls.com
Up to 111cm/44" bust and 91cm/36" waist.
*CLOSED* ?

Sweet Rococo - http://www.sweetrococo.com/
General sizing up to 111cm/44" bust and 91cm/36" waist.

Candy Violet - http://www.candyviolet.com/
"L", "XL", and "2XL" sizing
Up to 116cm/46" bust 96cm/38" waist

Blasphemina's Closet
Custom Sizing at no extra charge

Megan Maude
"L" and "XL" sizing
101cm/40" bust 78cm/31" waist
Up to 111cm/44" waist on some skirts
*Custom sizing available as of 3/12/10

OTHER COUNTRIES' BRANDS

Ergi
Up to 100cm/39" bust 75cm/29" waist
No custom sizing

English Charm
"L" "XL" "SXL" "MXL" "LXL" and "XLXL" sizing
Up to 122cm/48" bust 107cm/42" waist
Offers custom sizing

ETSY SHOPS

11tyone
Up to 90cm/35" bust 85cm/33" waist
No custom sizing
Available for commissions

Anachronisme
Up to 5XL
Semi-custom sizing
*Currently on hiatus

Bloom Empire
Up to 101cm/40" waist

Bondage Tea
Up to 127cm/50" waist
*A lot of stuff sold isn't lolita

Delicacy
Up to 99cm/39" bust 89cm/35" waist
sometimes offers semi-custom sizing

Dreams and Outfits
"L" and "XL" sizing
Up to 91cm/36" waist
Custom sizing
*Bloomers only

I Do Declare
Up to 96cm/38" waist

Lauralyn
Up to 99cm/39" bust 96cm/38" waist
*Not all items are lolita

Petite Royale
Up to 127cm/50" waist

Pink Sugar
Up to 94cm/37" waist

Silversark
"L" and "XL" sizing
up to 127cm/50" bust 106cm/42" waist
*Not all items are lolita/a little ita-ish

Skeletons in the Closet
Custom sizing
*more aristocrat than lolita

Victoria's Jewelry Box

I am very picky about jewelry, it is incredibly rare for me to find several things that I love in one place. But one place has managed to make a miracle. Victoria's Jewelry Box. Victoria's incredibly lovely victorian inspired jewelry, cameos in every color you can imagine, and delicate details have definitely charmed me. Hopefully it will charm you too.

I love cameos. They're classic, timeless, and gorgeous. But a cameo alone doesn't make a beautiful piece. The settings for these cameos are incredibly detailed and I'm absolutely in love with the chains.

The attention to detail on this pendant is amazing, while not being overly cluttered. I love the shape and openness of it as well.

This locket is gorgeous. The intricate flowers and little butterfly up top are adorable. Raphael's angel makes the piece and the red stones on the chain compliment it well.



I've never been big on earrings, but I do like these a lot. They're intricate and delicate. If you can't tell by now, I'm greatly attracted to the little flowers. The curves and lines of the designs are incredibly lovely.

Victoria's also has other items of interest, all of which can fit in perfectly with a lolita's bedroom and vanity.

I am absolutely gaga over this dragonfly perfume bottle. And the angel compact is sweet and simple.



I have an unhealthy obsession with trinket boxes. If I could, I would buy all three of these and many more that Victoria's has.

Victoria's Jewelry box has beautiful pieces, including gorgeous cameos and intricate details. On top of that, they have knickknacks that any lolita would love to place on their vanity. Add decent prices on every item and you have a winning combination.

From Fail to Frills

Warning: This post is super long and has a gratuitous amount of photos of me. Continue at your own risk.

A lot of photos have been deleted, the evidence burned, but the shame still remains. I know there's a few girls who weren't itas to start out, but the amount of us who were is astounding. Here's my tale of a girl finding her place in the frills throughout the years.

2004 - 17 years old
Luckily I don't have pictures from this year. If I'm even luckier, my mother doesn't either. This was my first ever year attempting lolita. For my Senior Seminar at high school I did a paper on gender roles in Japanese pop culture. For the presentation though, we only had to do projects loosely based on our subject and having to do with our art major. I was in creative writing, so I did poems inspired by Visual Kei bands (Yeah, I was an awesome weaboo teenager xD). The day I gave the presentation I dressed in this bastard child of really bad gothic lolita and decora. I was wearing a gothic dress with a square neck, moons on the bodice, and a kerchief skirt. Fishnets. I had plastic fish tied into my hair... it wasn't a pretty sight.

For my graduation I begged my mother for some real lolita. Of course, we were poor and there was no way she was going to buy me those expensive clothes from In the Starlight. I ended up with a black circle skirt with see-through lace panels, a squaredance petticoat, a plain white blouse, and pigtails. When I wore this getup to Otakon the summer after I added a ribbon as a "headdress".

I'm so glad no pictures exist of these.

2006 - 19 years old
After my first failed attempt, I gave up on lolita for a year. But then I had dropped out of college, started working a lot more, started saving up, bought my first BJD, and wanted another huge money sink. (What was I thinking?) So I bought a hugely overpriced Hot Topic dress from the UK. (In the end I think it cost me $300 altogether. I was so naive.)

Yes, this one. (Not my photo)

I barely squeezed my fat ass into it, got a mini tophat, and proceeded to take a million pictures. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure I've deleted all of them. If I come across one I'll be sure to share it.

After I got sick of not being able to fit into the Hot Topic dress, I finally decided to order from the best place ever (in my newbie eyes), In the Starlight. And yes, I have pictures from this outfit. (Lucky you).

I thought I was hot shit.

For Halloween I got another dress from ITS. I was slowly getting better. Very slowly.

2007 - 20 years old
2007 was the biggest year for me as a lolita. I was getting the hang of what dresses looked good, but I still hadn't come to learning what dresses looked good on me. I started venturing away from In the Starlight and poking my head into Fan plus Friend and commissioning private seamstresses. I also got the ever popular hime-cut this year.

Fan plus Friend dress. The collar was HUGE.


This was my favorite dress for forever. It was an AP replica, incredibly full, hand dyed lace, made just for me.
Unfortunately, I had an unhealthy obsession with front corset lacing. As you can see, we didn't exactly get along well.


My hime-cut. Brand new. While wearing a band shirt xD

2007 was also the year I met Caro-chan and our friend Xanet, and our special little trio was born.

I still had the occasional bad-fitting dress, but I was pretty much in my lolita niche.
Xanet also started stealing my clothes since we had similar measurements. xD

And then I got my first brand dress. From Innocent World.

Happiest girl in the fucking world, I tell you.

2008 - 21 years old
Nothing much happened for me in the world of lolita. Just purchases. I got my one and only lolita coat to date. Some more Innocent World jumperskirts. My beloved IW bonnet. And my most favorite jumperskirt in the world. I was also slowly starting my switch from sweet to classic and gothic.

2009 - 22 years old
This year everything started changing. I went back to college, got glasses so I could actually see what I was learning, and quit my job. The need for money also awakened the need for me to realize what really fit well and what didn't. Slowly, the Innocent World jumpers were sold, along with a lot of other clothes that made me look frumpy or oddly shaped. I also grew out my hime-cut and chopped it all off.

2009 was also the year that Xanet, Caro-chan, and I all went out in the woods behind my house and killed eachother. Or something like that.

The best part: My parents didn't even bat an eye when we all got back to my house.

2010 - 23 years old
I don't know what the future holds for my lolita life. I'm broker than ever and have even less opportunities to dress up than I did in 09. I'm hoping that I soon get a job, so I can start buying pretty clothes again. We'll see what happens.

What I do know, though, is that I wouldn't have made it this far if it hadn't been for the best two girls in the entire world. We don't get to see eachother much, but when we do it's always a wild ride. Caro-chan and Xanet are the best girls ever and if they weren't around I wouldn't be here. (Literally, Caro-chan was the one who goaded me into starting this blog xD) So, like most girls, I started off a scratchy-lace covered ita and grew into the lolita I am today. Like I wish for most girls, I did it with the help with two great friends. Because of them, I can look back on my beginner days with a smile.

Dealing with Dissapointment: It Doesn't Fit

In my last post I mentioned my brand new HMHM blouse not fitting and nearly crying over the fact. Unfortunately, I can't wear the blouse as it is, but here's a couple ways to handle a similar situation.

We've all been there. We've all ripped into a package of brand new lolita clothes, tried them on, and end up staring into the mirror in disbelief. Whether something was too tight, too loose, too long, or too short, we've all experienced clothing not fitting. I've listed a few ways to deal with this horrible circumstance.

First Things First

- Don't lie to yourself. If it doesn't fit, don't force it. Telling yourself it looks fine isn't going to make things better. You want your clothes to fit. You don't want to be busting out of your clothes or wearing them like a tent. If your breasts are trying to make their way to freedom, if you're on the maximum end of the shirring stretch and your torso resembles a sausage, if you had to jog around the block a couple times to get your skirt to fit, your clothes may be too tight. On the other end of the spectrum, if your jumperskirt is hanging off you like a limp rag, if your skirts keep sliding down to your ankles, or the bottom hem of your blouse is hitting your knees, you may want to consider your clothes being too large.

Pictured: Undesirable Outcomes

- Take a deep breath (but not too deep if you're going to bust a seam). Freaking out over your clothes not fitting is not going to solve the problem. Getting them soaked in tears isn't either. Take them off, carefully if they're too tight, fold them up, and put them away in a safe place. If you need a while to mope around the house, do so now.
If too small

- Don't resign yourself to using corsets, shapewear, or sportsbras to fit into an item. Sure, it's a quick fix and requires less grief for the short-term, but owning a piece that requires you to strap yourself in everytime you wish to wear it can get depressing. What's worse is that sports bras can give you this horrible thing called "boob loaf", a malady that creates the illusion of having a loaf of bread stuffed in your shirt rather than two separate breasts.

- Look the garment over. How much room does it have in the seams for it to be let out? Would that allowance be enough for what you need or no? If yes, consider a tailor or seamstress. A relative might know how to fix the garment for you. If not, do a search online for tradesmen and women in your area, or local businesses. Craigslist.org is perfect for such a thing. Always check their previous work before hiring them, though. If you would rather someone a little more versed in lolita, make a post to the EGL Community Sales. There are plenty of seamstresses there who would be able to resize your garment for you.

- If there isn't enough seam to be let out or you don't think the garment can be modified to fit you, you may have to sell it. It's tragic, but it happens. Selling it right away is the best way to guarantee you'll get close to what you paid for it. Be sure to mention that it is brand new, only tried on, and give it's exact measurements. Post a link to the original place you bought it if applicable to show that you're selling it for the same or slightly less price. Always remember to never charge more for the item, even though you may lose out on a couple dollars through shipping. Lolitas are sharp and spendthrifty. Most don't fall for such a trick.

If too Large

- Don't expect corset ties, waist ties, or belts to reign everything in. If the item is only a little bit too loose in certain areas, these things can be a godsend, but they aren't a miracle cure. A sack is going to look like a sack even if you cinch it in the middle with a belt.

- Most items that are too large can easily be taken in. Once again, ask a family member who knows how to sew, search for local seamstresses, or ask around on the comm sales. If there is enough extra fabric, you may even be able to get a whole new accessory out of it!

In the End

- Remember that it's not the end of the world. Clothes are not the be-all, end-all of life. They can be edited, repaired, or replaced. There is always another chance and there is always another day. You can start worrying when we run out of fabric in the world, but until then you can easily avoid wearing ill-fitting clothing in an attempt to look your cutest.

Twitter!

Just a small announcement. I've finally got a twitter for this blog! You can find me in the right hand column or just go to my profile at http://twitter.com/PartTimeLoli. Follow me and I'll follow you!

Review of Qcute/Qutieland: DollscroPs, HMHM, and PrinCutess

On December 29th I made an order from Qcute on their Qutieland website. On February 18th I received my package. All in all things were wonderful, but there were a couple hiccups along the way.

Communication: 5/5
Qcute was awesome with letting me know what was going on. I placed my order for four items over their website, a bonnet, a blouse, a bolero, and a skirt. I filled out my measurements and sent it in. The next day I received an email asking me if I was sure those were my real measurements and for a couple extra measurements, such as height, arm width, and the like. I sent those back and waited.

A few days later they emailed again, informing me that the bolero was out of stock. They subtracted the price of the bolero from my order and sent me a paypal invoice. The three items, custom sizing, and shipping cost $1345 HKD, about $170 USD.

Things went quiet after that as I eagerly awaited my shipping notice. I would check on my order status every couple of weeks on their website and it listed what process my items were currently undergoing. My DollscroPs skirt was finished and shipped to Qcute's warehouse first, but HMHM and PrinCutess weren't far behind.

On February 12 I received my shipping notice and EMS tracking number, a little over a month and a half after my initial order.

Shipping: 5/5
Being shipped EMS, my items only took six days to get to me. The package was labled as a gift, so I didn't get hit my US Customs. It was delayed a day because the mailman delivered my package receipt to the wrong apartment and I had to go hunt it down, not a fault of Qcute at all.

Everything was placed in a large, well-sealed, heavy duty plastic shipping bag. Inside that was a layer of bubble wrap. And inside that were my individually wrapped pieces. Safe and sound.

Click on thumbnails for bigger images.

Construction: 4.5/5
Everything was made beautifully. There were very few loose threads, both the skirt and bonnet were lined, the skirt in this most luxuriant purple fabric. My only issue was the velvet pattern on the skirt. While very pretty, the velvet is rather cheap and while getting the skirt on, it comes off and wedges itself underneath my fingernails. Even wearing the skirt throughout the day I would have to continuously wash my hands to get the fuzz off.

Fit: 3/5
Here's the most important part to me as a plus sized lolita, the ability of a company to make a garment that fits. Unfortunately, both HMHM and DollscroPs failed a little in these regards. Qcute asks for your exact size, saying that the companies will add a few centimeters for your garment size, but I added a few centimeters to my measurements anyway just from past experiences. I'm glad I did or else I'd be even worse off that I was when my package arrived.

I ordered my DollscroPs skirt according to my corseted waist size, as I never wear a high-waisted skirt without smoothing out my belly with a corset. Even wearing my corset and having added a few centimeters to my measurement, the skirt is incredibly difficult to get on. It just fits my corseted measurements and with a lot of pulling and wiggling at that. But once it's on, it's good to go. Also, I need my skirts extra long because of my height, and DollscroPs did deliver on that aspect. The skirt falls right to my knees.

The HMHM blouse, on the other hand, was a disaster. I put it on right away and almost ended up crying. The sleeves were incredibly tight, almost cutting off circulation, and the bust gaped at least an inch, I was barely able to get it buttoned. I either need to sell it and order a new one with larger measurements, or attempt to get it let out a little. It is not wearable at my size.

Overall: 4/5
I would recommend Qcute as a shopping service and the companies I've ordered from. My only issues were with sizing, but I now know better to add even more extra centimeters to my measurements, especially in my bust. It's a little depressing to have to do such a thing, but a blow I'm willing to take for beautiful custom-sized clothes. I will definitely be ordering from Qcute again.

Wearing my DollscroPs skirt with an In the Starlight blouse.
Photos by Caro-chan at FYeah Lolita.
Ignore the doofy look on my face.