Tips for the Plus Size Lolita

Everyone has the right to feel beautiful. For some of us that means wearing lolita. For a few of us that means wearing lolita while being plus-sized. While those who give us flack for being plus-sized will always give us flack, that does not excuse us for not looking as fabulous in our frills as possible. So here's some advice on what kind of frills will look good on your body shape.

Hourglass: Hurray for you! You actually have the best figure for lolita in my opinion. Sure, your large breasts and wide hips may seem like a detriment to you, but that defined waist can really pull you through.
Do
- Wear pieces that define your natural waist. Jumperskirts with princess seams will work well to call attention to your hourglass figure.
- Take advantage of a-line skirts, your shape flatters them well. Wear petticoats with lighter fluff around the hips.
- Look for back shirring or waist ties. These will help the clothing contour to your shape.
Avoid
- Empire waist dresses, they cover your waist and ruin your shape.
On the fence
- Cupcake shaped skirts. They truncate your waist instead of accentuate it, making your torso look stunted at times.

Comparison: The pink jsk will flatter and elongate your waist.
The red jsk will truncate it, making your torso look shorter than it is.

Top Heavy: As a friend of mine used to say "I got kicked in the back and it all came out on my front." You're in luck! Petticoats can hide the fact that you have no hips, giving you the illusion of an hourglass.
Do
- Wear lots of poof. In a fashion like lolita where poof at the hips is expected a flat petti can draw attention to your lack of downstairs.
- Take advantage of wide belts. They're coming into fashion in lolita and can be just what you need to draw out your waist. Remember to make sure that the belt is not at your underbust, but rather your natural waist, as this can make you look more breasty than you might like.
Avoid
- Pieces that have defined areas for them to sit over breasts. Chances are, unless these are custom made to your measurements, you will overfill these areas and look awkward.
- Pieces that have a lot of ruffles or lace around the breast area. It will draw the eye and make you look even more top heavy.
On the fence
- High waisted skirts and underbust jumperskirts. Again, these draw the eye to the breasts and can even hike them up higher into your chin. Use with discretion.
- Full shirred bodices. If they stretch far enough then it's worth giving a shot, but if you're on the cusp of the max measurements they can give you the appearance of a sausage.

This jsk has a defined area for your chest. Chances are you will overfill it.

Bottom Heavy: You've got more width at the bottom than at the top. But this is good news! 99% of lolita clothes are free at the hips, so a lack of inches at the top means you might fit into more brand than a lot of other plus sized girls could.
Do
- Look for princess seams and a-line skirts. Like the hourglass figure, they enhance your waistline.
- Take advantage of pieces that have lots of ruffles and lace on the chest area. It will help even you out top to bottom.
- If you commission, give measurements for the "rise" of your skirts. This will avoid uneven hemlines when worn and unwanted panty shots.
Avoid
- Super poofy petticoats. The added bulk around the waist can ruin your shape.
- Shorter skirts, especially if store-bought. They can easily gain you some unwanted attention.
On the fence
- Empire waist dresses. You can get away with them because they'll flatter you down to your waist, but wide hips with the addition of a petticoat may cause an odd silhouette.

The A-line skirt will flatter your hips and elongate your waist.
The ruffles on the bodice will add volume to your top.

Apple-Shaped: It's a little tougher for a girl of this shape to just throw on lolita and look wonderful. A little experimenting and playing around goes a long way though, you can have more fun with your wardrobe then others.
Do
- Wear separates. Blouses and skirts are good for defining a waist that the allover cover of an onepiece or jumperskirt may obscure.
- Go for petticoats slightly poofier below the hips. They can help even out your shape without adding extra fluff to your waist.
Avoid
- All over shirring. It can add unwanted bulk to your waistline.
- Full elastic waisted skirts. They can cause an unwanted silhouette under your blouses. Go for back elastic or zip up skirts instead.
- Empire waists. Not only can they hide your waist, they can give the illusion of being pregnant.
On the fence
- A-line skirts. They can give the illusion of a longer trunk and lower hips.

The separate blouse and skirt combo will add definition to your waist.

Body Trait Quick Tips:
Short neck - Look for flat collars like peter pan collars. Avoid high neck blouses or raised collars.
Wide Shoulders - Wear wider straps on jumperskirts. Avoid puffy sleeves.
Short legs - Wear knee-high socks. Avoid horizontal stripes.
Long legs - Wear overknee socks or tights. Avoid shin-high boots.
Wide calves - Wear full color or vertical stripe socks. Avoid horizontal stripes or prints.
When wearing a high-waisted skirt or full-shirred bodice, consider a corset or shapewear underneath to smooth out your tummy.

Got tips of your own? Add them in the comments!

Mini post: A Lolita Panel

So, I've been asked to help run a lolita panel next month by my friend Caro-chan over at F*** Yeah Lolita. It's just a small convention at the University of Connecticut, called U-Con, in it's first year running. The convention is absolutely free to attend, so if you're in the area please stop by! The panel will be running at 4pm on February 6th. You can check out everything you need at the U-Con website.

We're just going to be giving the basic "What is lolita?" kind of panel, touching on the different styles, quality you should look for, etc. It's not going to be anything completely innovative because we figure there won't be that many lolitas attending. If things go well we'll be able to fill up the whole hour with information. If not I'm sure we'll find something fun and lolita related to pass the time and get to know eachother! I'm super excited about it since this is the first panel I've ever ran and if it goes well we might attempt something at the larger Connecticon in the summer.

So if you want to see Caro-chan and myself in action, come check it out!

Return of the Rant: "Lolita" Pets

We've all heard about them. Most have seen them. Some even want one. A cute little puppy or kitty to dress up and show off with your latest dress. Maybe they even match your print? A bischon with your Innocent World, poodles with your Angelic Pretty, kittens for your Metamorphose. It's adorable! Dress them up too! Put a bow on their heads! And carry them around in your purse! Aren't they the cutest?

No. I'm sorry. Pets are not accessories. They are living, breathing things that should be treated better than dressed up and shoved in a purse to be carried around for hours. They have legs, they need to walk. Unless you have a chihuahua and you're outside in the middle of winter your pet does not need clothes. In fact most clothes for pets, especially in the summer, can cause your animal to overheat. Those cute little booties you put on your pup? They're good for keeping his feet dry while outside in the cold, but when inside they can cause infections between the pads. How's that for cute?

"Teacup" breeds are the worst. Dogs are inbred to become smaller and smaller, more fashionable. Meanwhile, the inbreeding promotes breed-specific health risks. Not to mention more immediate dangers such as taking jumps off something as low as a couch. The small breeds are fragile and breeding them even smaller makes things worse. On the same vein are the "designer dogs" like Goldendoodles and Puggles. They are bred with the intention to make them more hardy or hypo-allergenic. But what designer breeders don't tell you is that the chance for these positive traits to come out is the same for the chance of negative traits of both breeds coming out. You don't know what you're going to get. So, with Puggles for example, you can get the easy overheating, respiratory problems, and nose wrinkle infections from the Pug as well as the destructive properties, weight issues, and heart disease from the Beagle. Sure, it's cute, but you're probably not getting as good of a dog that you think you're buying. Not to mention, a designer dog's price tag can be more than a purebred's. You can be paying upwards for $1k for nothing more than a fancy mutt!

All animals grow up. Puppies become dogs. Kittens become cats. They get old. The bills for the vet visits grow. They no longer look so cute next to your kitten print, and tend to get hair all over it. Not to mention that a lot of animals sold as "teacup" breeds are actually just premature puppies or kittens. They grow up to be full sized and have even more health problems. They don't fit in your purse anymore. And they whine to be picked up still because all you've done is carry them around their whole lives.

I realize I'm being harsh with this rant but 1) it's a rant, 2) it's my blog, and 3) this is an issue I feel strongly about, not just within lolita. I worked in the animal care industry for over five years. I have seen dogs bought as accessories suffer through many problems, health, mental, and otherwise. I have cried when animals I've known for years were put down or given away simply because the owner was bored with them, or they were no longer cute, or were too much of a handful. I know this is a harsh rant but what I'm getting at is please think about the animal that you're buying. Are you getting it for an accessory? For something to coo over for a couple weeks and then get bored of? To dress up and show off? Or are you looking for a new friend for life? To give an unloved animal a new lease at life? To make your world and theirs a little bit brighter? Animals are not your personal playthings. Consider this before you go to buy one. Or even better, consider this and then go to your local shelter or pound and adopt that scruffy looking mutt in the corner. He or she will be your best friend as long as you care for them right.

Pictured: My old man Buddy. Part Husky, part Beagle, part Australian Cattle Dog, all Love.
There's nothing lolita about him, but I couldn't ask for more.

The In-between Lolita

It's a false belief that every lolita ever loves tea parties, baking, and acting like a pretty princess. We don't all sit around our pink lace covered table and sip at earl grey discussing what style of lace we like most, the ones with hearts or the ones with puppies. But everyone seems to know this nowadays.

Then there are the lolitas who drink, smoke, and curse. They go out clubbing. They display their piercings and tattoos proudly. They're not afraid to give the finger in their photos and show just how non-princesslike they are. And that's cool too.

But what about the lolitas in between? The lolitas who don't want to sit in a knitting circle all day but would rather spend the night in with some close friends then travelling down to the nearest club for a night of debauchery. Those lolitas who don't have a taste for tea, but don't have one for hard liqour either. What activities could these types of lolitas partake in at meetups?

My best suggestion would be card and board games. Especially ones aimed toward a more adult audience. They allow players to get a little naughty and rambunctious, making for a fun night with friends. My absolute favorite game is Apples to Apples, but others that are good ideas are Lunch Money, Taboo, and Cash 'n Guns. They're more exciting than plain old Yatzee or Clue and don't require taking shots to spice up the action.

So everyone's tired of the game, what else can we do? Sure, we could deco up some cell phones or bake some cupcakes, but that's normal lolita stuff. What can we do that's a little more adult? Set up a movie night. Scary movies are great when you're decked out in your frilliest. Turn off the lights, find a spot on the couch, and settle in for a ride. There's nothing quite like a group of girls in pink either screaming or snarking their heads off at a film. Want a more gothic touch? Go for old black and white horrors or artistic films. No need to constantly watch Disney cartoons.

What about refreshments? Not everything can be cupcakes and candy. Dinner is a perfect time to get your sophistication on. Try a cheesecake for a less out and out sweet dessert. Or go for a more sophisticated fruit display, offering pomegranate, mango, and passion fruit. For savory hors d'oeuvres, a fancy cheese platter is always welcome. Skip the meetup staple of sushi or simple dishes for something more out there. Check with everyone's food preference before hand and aim for something like a steak dinner with fresh greens. Vegetarians? Try thinking about more asian inspired dishes using tofu instead of meat. Break out those cute aprons and get everyone involved with the preparing. That way you have yet another bonding experience during the meetup and get to prepare tasty foods as well. Once ready, set up some candles, maybe open a bottle of wine, and enjoy.


These aren't the only ideas for the in-between lolita. There are many more ideas out there, hiding in your imaginations. There's no need for tea parties and feeling like you went out of your way for the most elaborate game of dressup, or to go crazy wild at parties if you don't feel comfortable in that sort of environment. There is a happy middle ground, you just have to find it.

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from RayRay
AKA the girl who used to own and love such an atrocious dress
Thank goodness for lolita!

Birthday!

I'm going to take a moment of selfishness and announce that today is my birthday! So I figure it is a perfect occasion to share a few pictures of amazing cakes that lolitas would love. Just click the photos to go to their website.

And me? I like to be simple (plus I don't have that kind of money for something so gorgeous). I love out of the box lemon cake with lemon frosting. Can you tell I love lemon flavored sweets?

Grandma Florals

I'm back! First off, apologies to anyone who cares about the blog. Life caught up to me for a while. It's still nipping at my heels but I've almost beaten it back.

I hope everyone had a wonderful whatever holiday they celebrate in November.

And since winter in the northern hemisphere is coming on fast I figured I would bring a little bit of spring back into our lolita lives. It's time for me to rave about the long forgotten prints of yesteryear. Specifically, grandma-ish florals.


Here at the cusp of 2010 we're buried in border prints. Some large details above the skirt hem with little pictures scattered about the rest of the piece. Back when lolita began we had all-over floral prints. Prints reminiscent of your grandmother's old couch or curtains. It may have been a little tacky, but I personally miss it.

So here's a couple examples from the olden days of all over floral prints.

Victorian Maiden


Innocent World


Moi-Meme-Moitie


Metamorphose Temps de Fille


Baby the Stars Shine Bright


Atelier Pierrot


Angelic Pretty

While the above are all lovely, some absolutely stunning, there were some pieces that were hit or miss. Such as this Baby jumperskirt.

U-G-L-Y!

But all in all I miss the old floral prints. And with the ott sweet prints having taken over, its even rare to see florals in classic brands such as Innocent World nowadays. There are a couple dresses available from brands that still have that old classic charm. Such as these two from Victorian Maiden and Mary Magdalene.

But for any others we're just going to have to wait and hope that this sweet thing blows over (unlikely) or make them ourselves.