Breaking all the Rules

Alright, so I'm still a little behind on my schedule. Unfortunately, life comes first.

Lolita has a ton of rules, either fashion-wise or behavior-wise. Skirts have to be so long, socks have to be so high, you can't wear this with that, you have to act ladylike. Like anyone, though, I like to break quite a few of these rules. Please share what rules you like to break, too!


~ 99% of the time, I don't wear makeup
~ I wear glasses (there was a big to-do over this a couple years ago)
~ I like my skirts a couple inches above the knee
~ I wear black shoes with almost everything
~ I tend to avoid wearing jewelry
~ I don't wear bloomers
~ I love old-style flat headdresses (mostly out of style nowadays)
~ I don't paint my nails
~ I like running around and going crazy in lolita rather than sitting still and looking pretty
~ I don't like tea
~ I don't enjoy most fancy desserts

Catching the Elusive Lolita

Sorry about the lack of post last Monday, life and school caught up to me a little. To get us all back to speed here's a bit of a silly post. Also, I'd like to make an apology. I've been unknowingly hotlinking images from other scources by using blogger's "add image from the web" feature. I assumed that it would upload it to my picasa web album automatically and this was not the case. I have rectified my mistake and would like to offer an apology to anyone I may have inconvenienced. With that said, let's get on with it!

So, you want a lolita girlfriend, do you? It's a lot harder than you might think, catching one of them girls. But I'll help ya out, no problem.

Before you go out hunting for your lolita, be sure to:
- Dress in lolita, aristocrat, or dandy. Lolitas feel threatened by people in other fashions. If desperate, Spank!, gal, or decora might do in a pinch.
- Have a list of compliments at the ready. "You're skirt is so poofy!" or "Are those real Vivienne Westwood rocking horse shoes?" are good ones for beginners.
- Also have a gift for the lolita on your person. Something simple and cute will do the trick, a ring, a hairbow, some socks. Lolitas love socks.
- Brush up on your etiquette. Remember to bow/curtsy, be polite, and always butter your roll as you bite it, not cut it open and make it a butter sandwich.


Once those things are done, then it is time for the hunt!
- Go to the lolita hunting grounds and set up your trap to lure the lolita out. Tea parties work great for this. A more adventurous hunter may try a more elaborate trap, such as an orchestra or brand store setup.
- Place your bait somewhere in the center of the trap. For the proper bait for the desired lolita, refer to the field guide.
- Lay in wait out of sight. Be patient.
- Once the desired lolita falls for the trap, spring into action. Be sure to remember your practiced manners from your prep session. Introduce yourself and woo her with compliments.
- If she looks like she's close to falling for you, go in for the kill with the gift. If she seems to be resisting your advances, back off to let her go on her merry way and reset your trap.
- Should things go south and the lolita becomes violent, drop to the ground and assume the fetal position. Be sure to protect your face with your arms.
- If she accepts the gift, feel free to bundle up your lolita and take her home.
Congratulations! You have caught your first lolita!

Current WTFs from Lolita Brands

There are brand pieces that may make you say "WTF?" but you know someone out there will like, they're just not to your tastes. And then there are those brand pieces that make you scratch your head until its bleeding with the question "Who on Earth would wear that?" These are some of those pieces, and they're not old-lolita either, these pieces are currently available for purchase on their websites.

Baby the Stars Shine Bright


I've always wanted a dress that had a skirt that looked like a diaper with strawberry dingleberries all over it! The matching propeller bow headdress goes wonderfully with it too!

Alice and the Pirates


Because we all need pants whose pockets make our hips look wider than a truck. Don't get me started on those hats, because I don't know what happened to them.

Angelic Pretty


I included the back view of the shapeless top to really drive home the fact that it looks like a frilly hospital gown. I love the lampshade hat too.

Metamorphose


Surprisingly, this is the only thing I could find from Meta right now. Even more surprisingly, it's sold out.

Innocent World


I don't understand the shape of the coat at all. The grandmother cardigan would be perfect to wear underneath it.

Moi Meme Moitie


This would be fine if it wasn't pleather. But... it's pleather.

Victorian Maiden


While not exactly lolita, it is ugly.

Feel free to share some wtf brand discoveries of your own in the comments!

Birthday!

I'm going to take a moment of selfishness and announce that today is my birthday! So I figure it is a perfect occasion to share a few pictures of amazing cakes that lolitas would love. Just click the photos to go to their website.

And me? I like to be simple (plus I don't have that kind of money for something so gorgeous). I love out of the box lemon cake with lemon frosting. Can you tell I love lemon flavored sweets?

Nursing the Sick Lolita

So last week I came down with a pretty awful cold. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but when I get colds I just want to curl up under the covers and be babied. I suppose it's one of the few times I go truly "lifestyle" lolita, even though I feel as far from lolita as possible (being buried alive in a pile of tissues will do that to you).

And so! I present to you: An In-depth Guide to Nursing the Sick Lolita

Step one: Dress her in comfy nightclothes.
I wouldn't suggest your nicest vintage nightgown for this one. Some old ratty PJs that are worn in are perfect for this. You're sick, no need to look your best.

Step two: Tuck her into bed. Let her burrow into and/or make a nest out of the blankets if necessary.
Taking refuge on the couch, and even couch forts are acceptable. Just make sure it's comfy, warm, and you can get in and out relatively easily in case of emergencies.

Step three: Turn on some cartoons for her.
Disney comes in wonderfully here. Put in a princess movie. Other feel good children's movies are perfect too. My personal choices this past week were Beauty and the Beast and Thumbelina. If kid's movies are too babyish for the lolita, go for horror movies instead. There's nothing like scaring the illness away! Plus, you get to cuddle close to the sick loli to comfort her.

Step four: Server her some hot soup and a sandwich.
My personal choice is grilled cheese and spaghettios. Some may opt for the more mature tomato soup. For the upset tummy, dry toast and flat gingerale can be made special by being put on a fancy plate. Don't forget lots of oranges for vitamin C!

Step five: Keep an arsenal of medicine at the ready.
Cough drops, nyquil, pepto, whatever you need, keep it nearby. A well lolita is made only by being a well prepared lolita.

Step six: Let her get plenty of rest.
This step is the most important! Don't let the loli go off and make herself worse. Keep her in bed, try not to excite her, and she'll be well in no time.