Dealing with Dissapointment: It Doesn't Fit

In my last post I mentioned my brand new HMHM blouse not fitting and nearly crying over the fact. Unfortunately, I can't wear the blouse as it is, but here's a couple ways to handle a similar situation.

We've all been there. We've all ripped into a package of brand new lolita clothes, tried them on, and end up staring into the mirror in disbelief. Whether something was too tight, too loose, too long, or too short, we've all experienced clothing not fitting. I've listed a few ways to deal with this horrible circumstance.

First Things First

- Don't lie to yourself. If it doesn't fit, don't force it. Telling yourself it looks fine isn't going to make things better. You want your clothes to fit. You don't want to be busting out of your clothes or wearing them like a tent. If your breasts are trying to make their way to freedom, if you're on the maximum end of the shirring stretch and your torso resembles a sausage, if you had to jog around the block a couple times to get your skirt to fit, your clothes may be too tight. On the other end of the spectrum, if your jumperskirt is hanging off you like a limp rag, if your skirts keep sliding down to your ankles, or the bottom hem of your blouse is hitting your knees, you may want to consider your clothes being too large.

Pictured: Undesirable Outcomes

- Take a deep breath (but not too deep if you're going to bust a seam). Freaking out over your clothes not fitting is not going to solve the problem. Getting them soaked in tears isn't either. Take them off, carefully if they're too tight, fold them up, and put them away in a safe place. If you need a while to mope around the house, do so now.
If too small

- Don't resign yourself to using corsets, shapewear, or sportsbras to fit into an item. Sure, it's a quick fix and requires less grief for the short-term, but owning a piece that requires you to strap yourself in everytime you wish to wear it can get depressing. What's worse is that sports bras can give you this horrible thing called "boob loaf", a malady that creates the illusion of having a loaf of bread stuffed in your shirt rather than two separate breasts.

- Look the garment over. How much room does it have in the seams for it to be let out? Would that allowance be enough for what you need or no? If yes, consider a tailor or seamstress. A relative might know how to fix the garment for you. If not, do a search online for tradesmen and women in your area, or local businesses. Craigslist.org is perfect for such a thing. Always check their previous work before hiring them, though. If you would rather someone a little more versed in lolita, make a post to the EGL Community Sales. There are plenty of seamstresses there who would be able to resize your garment for you.

- If there isn't enough seam to be let out or you don't think the garment can be modified to fit you, you may have to sell it. It's tragic, but it happens. Selling it right away is the best way to guarantee you'll get close to what you paid for it. Be sure to mention that it is brand new, only tried on, and give it's exact measurements. Post a link to the original place you bought it if applicable to show that you're selling it for the same or slightly less price. Always remember to never charge more for the item, even though you may lose out on a couple dollars through shipping. Lolitas are sharp and spendthrifty. Most don't fall for such a trick.

If too Large

- Don't expect corset ties, waist ties, or belts to reign everything in. If the item is only a little bit too loose in certain areas, these things can be a godsend, but they aren't a miracle cure. A sack is going to look like a sack even if you cinch it in the middle with a belt.

- Most items that are too large can easily be taken in. Once again, ask a family member who knows how to sew, search for local seamstresses, or ask around on the comm sales. If there is enough extra fabric, you may even be able to get a whole new accessory out of it!

In the End

- Remember that it's not the end of the world. Clothes are not the be-all, end-all of life. They can be edited, repaired, or replaced. There is always another chance and there is always another day. You can start worrying when we run out of fabric in the world, but until then you can easily avoid wearing ill-fitting clothing in an attempt to look your cutest.

Tips for the Plus Size Lolita

Everyone has the right to feel beautiful. For some of us that means wearing lolita. For a few of us that means wearing lolita while being plus-sized. While those who give us flack for being plus-sized will always give us flack, that does not excuse us for not looking as fabulous in our frills as possible. So here's some advice on what kind of frills will look good on your body shape.

Hourglass: Hurray for you! You actually have the best figure for lolita in my opinion. Sure, your large breasts and wide hips may seem like a detriment to you, but that defined waist can really pull you through.
Do
- Wear pieces that define your natural waist. Jumperskirts with princess seams will work well to call attention to your hourglass figure.
- Take advantage of a-line skirts, your shape flatters them well. Wear petticoats with lighter fluff around the hips.
- Look for back shirring or waist ties. These will help the clothing contour to your shape.
Avoid
- Empire waist dresses, they cover your waist and ruin your shape.
On the fence
- Cupcake shaped skirts. They truncate your waist instead of accentuate it, making your torso look stunted at times.

Comparison: The pink jsk will flatter and elongate your waist.
The red jsk will truncate it, making your torso look shorter than it is.

Top Heavy: As a friend of mine used to say "I got kicked in the back and it all came out on my front." You're in luck! Petticoats can hide the fact that you have no hips, giving you the illusion of an hourglass.
Do
- Wear lots of poof. In a fashion like lolita where poof at the hips is expected a flat petti can draw attention to your lack of downstairs.
- Take advantage of wide belts. They're coming into fashion in lolita and can be just what you need to draw out your waist. Remember to make sure that the belt is not at your underbust, but rather your natural waist, as this can make you look more breasty than you might like.
Avoid
- Pieces that have defined areas for them to sit over breasts. Chances are, unless these are custom made to your measurements, you will overfill these areas and look awkward.
- Pieces that have a lot of ruffles or lace around the breast area. It will draw the eye and make you look even more top heavy.
On the fence
- High waisted skirts and underbust jumperskirts. Again, these draw the eye to the breasts and can even hike them up higher into your chin. Use with discretion.
- Full shirred bodices. If they stretch far enough then it's worth giving a shot, but if you're on the cusp of the max measurements they can give you the appearance of a sausage.

This jsk has a defined area for your chest. Chances are you will overfill it.

Bottom Heavy: You've got more width at the bottom than at the top. But this is good news! 99% of lolita clothes are free at the hips, so a lack of inches at the top means you might fit into more brand than a lot of other plus sized girls could.
Do
- Look for princess seams and a-line skirts. Like the hourglass figure, they enhance your waistline.
- Take advantage of pieces that have lots of ruffles and lace on the chest area. It will help even you out top to bottom.
- If you commission, give measurements for the "rise" of your skirts. This will avoid uneven hemlines when worn and unwanted panty shots.
Avoid
- Super poofy petticoats. The added bulk around the waist can ruin your shape.
- Shorter skirts, especially if store-bought. They can easily gain you some unwanted attention.
On the fence
- Empire waist dresses. You can get away with them because they'll flatter you down to your waist, but wide hips with the addition of a petticoat may cause an odd silhouette.

The A-line skirt will flatter your hips and elongate your waist.
The ruffles on the bodice will add volume to your top.

Apple-Shaped: It's a little tougher for a girl of this shape to just throw on lolita and look wonderful. A little experimenting and playing around goes a long way though, you can have more fun with your wardrobe then others.
Do
- Wear separates. Blouses and skirts are good for defining a waist that the allover cover of an onepiece or jumperskirt may obscure.
- Go for petticoats slightly poofier below the hips. They can help even out your shape without adding extra fluff to your waist.
Avoid
- All over shirring. It can add unwanted bulk to your waistline.
- Full elastic waisted skirts. They can cause an unwanted silhouette under your blouses. Go for back elastic or zip up skirts instead.
- Empire waists. Not only can they hide your waist, they can give the illusion of being pregnant.
On the fence
- A-line skirts. They can give the illusion of a longer trunk and lower hips.

The separate blouse and skirt combo will add definition to your waist.

Body Trait Quick Tips:
Short neck - Look for flat collars like peter pan collars. Avoid high neck blouses or raised collars.
Wide Shoulders - Wear wider straps on jumperskirts. Avoid puffy sleeves.
Short legs - Wear knee-high socks. Avoid horizontal stripes.
Long legs - Wear overknee socks or tights. Avoid shin-high boots.
Wide calves - Wear full color or vertical stripe socks. Avoid horizontal stripes or prints.
When wearing a high-waisted skirt or full-shirred bodice, consider a corset or shapewear underneath to smooth out your tummy.

Got tips of your own? Add them in the comments!

Rant the first: Weight, Lolita, and You

Let's face it. I'm a fatty. I like lolita, and I'm a fatty. I can't fit into brand. I have to have my things custom made. I can't even wear socks with print on them because my calves will warp the images beyond recognition.

The almighty god Mana-sama should just strike me down where I stand, right? For messing with the sanctity of lolita?

I'm still here.

So it's skinny lolitas then? The ones who can fit into most, or all brand. They're the ones to blame, right? They're ruining it for us fatties, if they didn't exist brands would go for bigger sizes and then we chunky ones could fit into those pretty dresses. Besides, they look horrible. You can't look young and innocent while being thin and gaunt.

A 30 inch waist? No one's that skinny! Right?

Wrong again.

Here's the deal. Fat or thin. Too big or too small (believe it or not, there are full grown women too small to fit into brand. The horror!). Lolita is unfair to everyone. There's always going to be a dress we want that we can't fit. There's always going to be a skirt just out of our reach.

"But," the fatties argue, "it's easier for a garment to be taken in than let out."

Yes, but buying brand and altering it requires just as much money and effort as getting your own garment commissioned. Maybe more.

"But what about the special prints?" They all cry.

There are places out there that will do custom prints on fabric. Get a replication of the print you want done or make your very own custom print. Can't draw worth a damn? There's people who will design for a few dollars too. Or have a friend who can draw do it for you.

Then, once you get the fabric, send it to a talented seamstress to make your replica or original garment.

In the end you have something that fits (Yay no boob loaf!), is good quality (as long as you do your research), and for around the same price as a brand piece. And now you're not just paying for a name, but for a quality custom garment made just for you.

In the end, who gives a crap what size you are? Take lolita and rock it. Get a full length mirror and learn what looks good on you, what flatters your size, where you need something to fit just right and where you can let things go a little. Get a good friend to tell you honestly if you look like shit before you go out that day. Experiment a little.

Have some fucking fun.

And don't listen to haters on the internet who say you're too big or small. Or that little niggling voice in the back of your head that's just echoing other people's sentiments. You love lolita? You know how to flatter your shape and size? Then wear that shit with pride.

I'll meet you out there.