Coming Down to Earth

There's a very loud chorus from those who aren't lifestyle lolitas that "lolita is just clothes". But you have to admit that the lifestyle lolitas are shouting collectively louder.

I recently went to a meetup where the crew for the Loligirls documentary was filming for their full length production. They asked us what we lolitas usually talked about at meetups and proceeded to throw out examples. "Makeup tips? Favorite brands?" they asked. Us girls looked around at each other, unsure how to express that we had just got done with a rousing bout of crude toilet humor. I get asked by friends, "So, do you sit around at home and drink tea and pretend you're living in Victorian times?" And I always have to explain that while there could be some girls out there like that, once I'm home I'm usually lazing around in PJ pants playing on the internet or doing homework. Whenever you see lolitas being filmed, say on the news, and they're in there rooms, everything is always pink and fluffy. We've been painted with a very broad brush full of rainbows and unicorns and soft fuzzies. And it's because us "normal" girls don't stand out as well as the much more extreme lifestylers.

I just don't understand the rationalization that someone who dresses different = someone who acts different. Dressed like cupcakes, we're still normal girls underneath, and I think even a lot of lolitas need to come to this realization. We're not doing any good in canceling out the thoughts of bypassers that we're strange when most of us come home to a pile of pastel that should be in a nursery. (Barring that you actually have a child and a nursery. xD) Most of us are in our late teens and early twenties. It's time for us to start making a place in life for ourselves through college, jobs, and careers. Yes, lolita is a great escape from the day to day pressures of normal life and an escape is good from time to time. But eventually the clothes have to come off. Most of us aren't tittering school girls blushing behind our parasols. We are young women, ready to take on the world. And it's time that we start dispersing these beliefs that we are just big girls trying to be little girls still. I'm not saying stop doing what you love and try to fit in to a niche the rest of the world has set up. I'm just saying that there are times when you really should take off that tiara.

Working for the Frills

I'm currently unemployed and all of my available funds are going to college. (Hurray for the economy!) My most recent splurge was only possible with the aid of Christmas and Birthday money. While I know I'm better off than a lot of people out there, but there are also a lot of people who are more well-off than I am. This past Christmas there was a discussion on the EGL livejournal community where people got to list what they received for gifts. I was floored by the amount of money some people's family spent on frills alone. There are genuine lolitas out there whose mommy and/or daddy buy them anything they want. And I can be jealous of these people until I'm green in the face.

But when you think about it, these are the people most likely to buy the most popular print. And then once its not popular anymore they buy the next big thing. They keep moving on from piece to piece, possibly selling their old ones.

And then there are the people like me. Like a lot of us lolitas out there. We work hard and save up for what we really like. Maybe a piece from a lesser-known indie-brand. Or an older piece that we've wanted forever that someone is selling second hand. Or a custom-made piece that only you have, and no one else. We can appreciate the clothes we buy. Love them.

I can't say that I have my first lolita garment, since I started out as an ita like the best of them. But I do still have one of my earliest jumperskirts. It is an original piece made just for me and I still get asked constantly what brand it is.

So you can be jealous of all those girls better off than you who get the whole world handed to them one day and throw it out the next. Or you can be proud of the frills you bought with your own hard work and love them like no other lolita could.

Dressing Yourself Outside of Lolita

I've noticed a lot of complaints from girls into lolita in regards to girls dressing sloppily in their everyday clothes. They argue that you shouldn't wear lolita if you don't know how to dress yourself outside of it. Like you have to pass some sort of coordination test before you're allowed to match up prints and colors of your froof.

I, for one, don't buy into this shit. Before lolita I wore nothing but jeans and those annoying "ironic" t-shirts that everyone hates (but I still love. So there.) or band shirts. Throw on some Payless sneakers and a pea-coat if its cold out and I'm good to go. I never bothered with which shirt matched what skirt because I never wore anything that couldn't be thrown on from out of my closet. Unless you count my highschool mallgoth days, but we won't even go there.

Lolita is not rocket science to coordinate. Especially the basic stuff. You find some colors that go well together and fit into one substyle of the fashion and you're good. If you want to be even lazier you buy the whole set of matching stuff from a single brand (Candies go with candies go with candies? Brilliant!). If you want to try mixing styles or bringing outside influences into your lolita, say rockabilly for example, you're going to have a slightly harder time. But for the most part lolita is paint by numbers easy to coordinate.

So why is it I have to be required to know how to match clothes I don't want to wear to other clothes I don't want to wear? Lolita makes me feel pretty. My slummy clothes make me feel comfy. I don't need or want an inbetween. Most mainstream clothes don't suit me because they're made for size 8s and I'm a size 18. So they make me feel ugly and uncomfortable. Why force myself to learn how to dress a way that I'm going to feel self-conscious in and thus look horrible anyway because I'm not rocking it?

Point is, these people are complaining because they can't comprehend others dressing outside of the norm. How dare you dress how you want while everyone else is wearing the latest fashions? This makes them hypocrites because they themselves, in the very act of wearing lolita, fall out of the norm and are now the ones being looked down on for "not knowing how to dress themselves".

Moral of the story? Wear what you want. Someone out there is going to hate it anyway so why not rock something you love and feel comfortable in? Whether it be lolita, jeans and a t-shirt, the stuff you see in magazines, or clothes from centuries ago. If you like it, wear it.

An aside: In case you haven't noticed. Part Time Lolita has a new banner and background! Vote on how much you hate it in the poll to the right. I'll take this moment to introduce the new weekly polls as well! There will be new poll every Monday along with the weekly post so we can see the readers' opinions on different subjects. Enjoy!

Return of the Rant: "Lolita" Pets

We've all heard about them. Most have seen them. Some even want one. A cute little puppy or kitty to dress up and show off with your latest dress. Maybe they even match your print? A bischon with your Innocent World, poodles with your Angelic Pretty, kittens for your Metamorphose. It's adorable! Dress them up too! Put a bow on their heads! And carry them around in your purse! Aren't they the cutest?

No. I'm sorry. Pets are not accessories. They are living, breathing things that should be treated better than dressed up and shoved in a purse to be carried around for hours. They have legs, they need to walk. Unless you have a chihuahua and you're outside in the middle of winter your pet does not need clothes. In fact most clothes for pets, especially in the summer, can cause your animal to overheat. Those cute little booties you put on your pup? They're good for keeping his feet dry while outside in the cold, but when inside they can cause infections between the pads. How's that for cute?

"Teacup" breeds are the worst. Dogs are inbred to become smaller and smaller, more fashionable. Meanwhile, the inbreeding promotes breed-specific health risks. Not to mention more immediate dangers such as taking jumps off something as low as a couch. The small breeds are fragile and breeding them even smaller makes things worse. On the same vein are the "designer dogs" like Goldendoodles and Puggles. They are bred with the intention to make them more hardy or hypo-allergenic. But what designer breeders don't tell you is that the chance for these positive traits to come out is the same for the chance of negative traits of both breeds coming out. You don't know what you're going to get. So, with Puggles for example, you can get the easy overheating, respiratory problems, and nose wrinkle infections from the Pug as well as the destructive properties, weight issues, and heart disease from the Beagle. Sure, it's cute, but you're probably not getting as good of a dog that you think you're buying. Not to mention, a designer dog's price tag can be more than a purebred's. You can be paying upwards for $1k for nothing more than a fancy mutt!

All animals grow up. Puppies become dogs. Kittens become cats. They get old. The bills for the vet visits grow. They no longer look so cute next to your kitten print, and tend to get hair all over it. Not to mention that a lot of animals sold as "teacup" breeds are actually just premature puppies or kittens. They grow up to be full sized and have even more health problems. They don't fit in your purse anymore. And they whine to be picked up still because all you've done is carry them around their whole lives.

I realize I'm being harsh with this rant but 1) it's a rant, 2) it's my blog, and 3) this is an issue I feel strongly about, not just within lolita. I worked in the animal care industry for over five years. I have seen dogs bought as accessories suffer through many problems, health, mental, and otherwise. I have cried when animals I've known for years were put down or given away simply because the owner was bored with them, or they were no longer cute, or were too much of a handful. I know this is a harsh rant but what I'm getting at is please think about the animal that you're buying. Are you getting it for an accessory? For something to coo over for a couple weeks and then get bored of? To dress up and show off? Or are you looking for a new friend for life? To give an unloved animal a new lease at life? To make your world and theirs a little bit brighter? Animals are not your personal playthings. Consider this before you go to buy one. Or even better, consider this and then go to your local shelter or pound and adopt that scruffy looking mutt in the corner. He or she will be your best friend as long as you care for them right.

Pictured: My old man Buddy. Part Husky, part Beagle, part Australian Cattle Dog, all Love.
There's nothing lolita about him, but I couldn't ask for more.

Grandma Florals

I'm back! First off, apologies to anyone who cares about the blog. Life caught up to me for a while. It's still nipping at my heels but I've almost beaten it back.

I hope everyone had a wonderful whatever holiday they celebrate in November.

And since winter in the northern hemisphere is coming on fast I figured I would bring a little bit of spring back into our lolita lives. It's time for me to rave about the long forgotten prints of yesteryear. Specifically, grandma-ish florals.


Here at the cusp of 2010 we're buried in border prints. Some large details above the skirt hem with little pictures scattered about the rest of the piece. Back when lolita began we had all-over floral prints. Prints reminiscent of your grandmother's old couch or curtains. It may have been a little tacky, but I personally miss it.

So here's a couple examples from the olden days of all over floral prints.

Victorian Maiden


Innocent World


Moi-Meme-Moitie


Metamorphose Temps de Fille


Baby the Stars Shine Bright


Atelier Pierrot


Angelic Pretty

While the above are all lovely, some absolutely stunning, there were some pieces that were hit or miss. Such as this Baby jumperskirt.

U-G-L-Y!

But all in all I miss the old floral prints. And with the ott sweet prints having taken over, its even rare to see florals in classic brands such as Innocent World nowadays. There are a couple dresses available from brands that still have that old classic charm. Such as these two from Victorian Maiden and Mary Magdalene.

But for any others we're just going to have to wait and hope that this sweet thing blows over (unlikely) or make them ourselves.

Turn it up to 11!

Everyone knows of the recent trend in lolita to pile on bows and ruffles and lace and fimo clay sweets and whatever else you can grab and stick onto your outfit. Lolitas, some who used to complain that shoving on a ton of hairclips and bracelets "Isn't decora-loli!", now are wearing over the top prints paired with enough frills to choke a horse with jewelry to match. Bows on top of bows, childish prints that envelop the whole garment, headwear with additional ears? Where will it end?

Even Victorian Maiden, known as a classic brand, has fallen to the insanity.

The main brand to blame for this horrible trend seems to be Angelic Pretty. And it's true, AP was the first brand to start piling crap ontop of their dresses, but the real question is why?

Is this really necessary AP?

The thing is, there's just one simple answer to that question. Because we, as Lolitas, started it! That's right! It's at least some of our faults that this crazy trend began! Sure, you may argue that brands conspire on what will be the next big trend in lolita. They decide for us, if you will, what will be the next big thing. Like this season's deer print trend, or the recent pinkxmint explosion. But the thing is, those are safe innovations. A sudden increase in cute fawns prancing around our skirt hems is just the same as Vogue determining that teal is the Next Big Color. But Vogue isn't going to randomly pull out that a stuffed cake to put on top of your head is the must have item of the season, and neither will lolita brands, unless we give them a reason to think that.

Lolita brands watched the increasing trend of decora and fairy lolita, watched all these girls in their sweet print dresses pile on jewelry and barrettes and bows, and thought "We could make money off of this." They release things on a small scale. A cake hat, a headband with maybe a couple extra bows than normal on it, a slightly rufflier bonnet. And then these items get bought and that gives brands the big green light, and shit goes nuts.

Hear that, lady? Its all your fault!

So, love it or hate it, crazy OTT lolita is here until we all get sick of it. Brands will keep pumping out more clothes and accessories with more bows, ruffles, and who knows what than you can beat off with a stick. Until people stop paying for the stuff, its all here to stay. Sure, the gothic and classic lolitas can all cry and complain that its "ruining lolita" and that there should be some sort of loli revolution where the OTT sweet lolitas break off from the fashion so they can't be associated as the same anymore. But really, we all get the same confused looks when we go out onto the street in our petticoats and ruffles, no matter how toned down or turned up they are. In the end, it's no one's fault but our own that we keep getting asked, "Are you in a play?"

Rant the first: Weight, Lolita, and You

Let's face it. I'm a fatty. I like lolita, and I'm a fatty. I can't fit into brand. I have to have my things custom made. I can't even wear socks with print on them because my calves will warp the images beyond recognition.

The almighty god Mana-sama should just strike me down where I stand, right? For messing with the sanctity of lolita?

I'm still here.

So it's skinny lolitas then? The ones who can fit into most, or all brand. They're the ones to blame, right? They're ruining it for us fatties, if they didn't exist brands would go for bigger sizes and then we chunky ones could fit into those pretty dresses. Besides, they look horrible. You can't look young and innocent while being thin and gaunt.

A 30 inch waist? No one's that skinny! Right?

Wrong again.

Here's the deal. Fat or thin. Too big or too small (believe it or not, there are full grown women too small to fit into brand. The horror!). Lolita is unfair to everyone. There's always going to be a dress we want that we can't fit. There's always going to be a skirt just out of our reach.

"But," the fatties argue, "it's easier for a garment to be taken in than let out."

Yes, but buying brand and altering it requires just as much money and effort as getting your own garment commissioned. Maybe more.

"But what about the special prints?" They all cry.

There are places out there that will do custom prints on fabric. Get a replication of the print you want done or make your very own custom print. Can't draw worth a damn? There's people who will design for a few dollars too. Or have a friend who can draw do it for you.

Then, once you get the fabric, send it to a talented seamstress to make your replica or original garment.

In the end you have something that fits (Yay no boob loaf!), is good quality (as long as you do your research), and for around the same price as a brand piece. And now you're not just paying for a name, but for a quality custom garment made just for you.

In the end, who gives a crap what size you are? Take lolita and rock it. Get a full length mirror and learn what looks good on you, what flatters your size, where you need something to fit just right and where you can let things go a little. Get a good friend to tell you honestly if you look like shit before you go out that day. Experiment a little.

Have some fucking fun.

And don't listen to haters on the internet who say you're too big or small. Or that little niggling voice in the back of your head that's just echoing other people's sentiments. You love lolita? You know how to flatter your shape and size? Then wear that shit with pride.

I'll meet you out there.