Friday, February 26, 2010

Catching the Elusive Lolita

Sorry about the lack of post last Monday, life and school caught up to me a little. To get us all back to speed here's a bit of a silly post. Also, I'd like to make an apology. I've been unknowingly hotlinking images from other scources by using blogger's "add image from the web" feature. I assumed that it would upload it to my picasa web album automatically and this was not the case. I have rectified my mistake and would like to offer an apology to anyone I may have inconvenienced. With that said, let's get on with it!

So, you want a lolita girlfriend, do you? It's a lot harder than you might think, catching one of them girls. But I'll help ya out, no problem.

Before you go out hunting for your lolita, be sure to:
- Dress in lolita, aristocrat, or dandy. Lolitas feel threatened by people in other fashions. If desperate, Spank!, gal, or decora might do in a pinch.
- Have a list of compliments at the ready. "You're skirt is so poofy!" or "Are those real Vivienne Westwood rocking horse shoes?" are good ones for beginners.
- Also have a gift for the lolita on your person. Something simple and cute will do the trick, a ring, a hairbow, some socks. Lolitas love socks.
- Brush up on your etiquette. Remember to bow/curtsy, be polite, and always butter your roll as you bite it, not cut it open and make it a butter sandwich.

Once those things are done, then it is time for the hunt!
- Go to the lolita hunting grounds and set up your trap to lure the lolita out. Tea parties work great for this. A more adventurous hunter may try a more elaborate trap, such as an orchestra or brand store setup.
- Place your bait somewhere in the center of the trap. For the proper bait for the desired lolita, refer to the field guide.
- Lay in wait out of sight. Be patient.
- Once the desired lolita falls for the trap, spring into action. Be sure to remember your practiced manners from your prep session. Introduce yourself and woo her with compliments.
- If she looks like she's close to falling for you, go in for the kill with the gift. If she seems to be resisting your advances, back off to let her go on her merry way and reset your trap.
- Should things go south and the lolita becomes violent, drop to the ground and assume the fetal position. Be sure to protect your face with your arms.
- If she accepts the gift, feel free to bundle up your lolita and take her home.
Congratulations! You have caught your first lolita!


  1. Lolitas; gotta catch em all! (ooh that sounds wrong lol)

  2. I second Sucrerie Magazine XDD Really funny post! Lolita field guide! =D

  3. I fell of the chair. Awesomeness!

  4. "Should things go south and the lolita becomes violent, drop to the ground and assume the fetal position. Be sure to protect your face with your arms."

    I laughed so hard my mom couldn't understand what I was telling her, nor could I speak anyhow.

  5. You COULD just use a pokeball.
    It'd have to have bunnies on it, and possibly some lace too, though... oh, and make it out of velvet just to cater to the Gothics XD


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