Monday, December 28, 2009

The In-between Lolita

It's a false belief that every lolita ever loves tea parties, baking, and acting like a pretty princess. We don't all sit around our pink lace covered table and sip at earl grey discussing what style of lace we like most, the ones with hearts or the ones with puppies. But everyone seems to know this nowadays.

Then there are the lolitas who drink, smoke, and curse. They go out clubbing. They display their piercings and tattoos proudly. They're not afraid to give the finger in their photos and show just how non-princesslike they are. And that's cool too.

But what about the lolitas in between? The lolitas who don't want to sit in a knitting circle all day but would rather spend the night in with some close friends then travelling down to the nearest club for a night of debauchery. Those lolitas who don't have a taste for tea, but don't have one for hard liqour either. What activities could these types of lolitas partake in at meetups?

My best suggestion would be card and board games. Especially ones aimed toward a more adult audience. They allow players to get a little naughty and rambunctious, making for a fun night with friends. My absolute favorite game is Apples to Apples, but others that are good ideas are Lunch Money, Taboo, and Cash 'n Guns. They're more exciting than plain old Yatzee or Clue and don't require taking shots to spice up the action.

So everyone's tired of the game, what else can we do? Sure, we could deco up some cell phones or bake some cupcakes, but that's normal lolita stuff. What can we do that's a little more adult? Set up a movie night. Scary movies are great when you're decked out in your frilliest. Turn off the lights, find a spot on the couch, and settle in for a ride. There's nothing quite like a group of girls in pink either screaming or snarking their heads off at a film. Want a more gothic touch? Go for old black and white horrors or artistic films. No need to constantly watch Disney cartoons.

What about refreshments? Not everything can be cupcakes and candy. Dinner is a perfect time to get your sophistication on. Try a cheesecake for a less out and out sweet dessert. Or go for a more sophisticated fruit display, offering pomegranate, mango, and passion fruit. For savory hors d'oeuvres, a fancy cheese platter is always welcome. Skip the meetup staple of sushi or simple dishes for something more out there. Check with everyone's food preference before hand and aim for something like a steak dinner with fresh greens. Vegetarians? Try thinking about more asian inspired dishes using tofu instead of meat. Break out those cute aprons and get everyone involved with the preparing. That way you have yet another bonding experience during the meetup and get to prepare tasty foods as well. Once ready, set up some candles, maybe open a bottle of wine, and enjoy.

These aren't the only ideas for the in-between lolita. There are many more ideas out there, hiding in your imaginations. There's no need for tea parties and feeling like you went out of your way for the most elaborate game of dressup, or to go crazy wild at parties if you don't feel comfortable in that sort of environment. There is a happy middle ground, you just have to find it.


  1. i liked this post a lot.. there are very few lolitas in my area, and no meetups. i kind of wanted to start one in my area, but i couldn't think of anything to do!

    i don't like the taste of tea, and i love the old fashioned touch lifestyle lolitas bring to their daily life, but i don't have the money or the inclination to live that way... plus i know a lot of the girls i know who are interested in lolita are watching their waistlines a bit, and endless cakes and cookies is neither a healthy meal or even a really tasty one in my opinion (sweets rock. fuck yeah cupcakes are awesome. i'd love to eat one, but i start to get a gross feeling in the back of my mouth if i make a meal of only sweets.)

    at the same time, even though i don't mind drinking a little, i don't think that's the feel i want for a meetup, especially since unles you live in a large city, any kind of bar or club in your price range is probably going to lack the elegance you'd want.

    plus, a board game, especially one like those you suggested, would be a great icebreaker for newer groups or new people. maybe once the people know each other a little better, a very simple roleplaying game such as besm (roleplaying game based on anime, you could make an all lolita group of magical girls on a quest to defeat the evil something or other.) if they were so inclined.

    i just discovered your blog today and i'm really liking it!


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